Our Nanny

We have never really been a fan of babysitters.  In fact, all of our previous experiences with sitters have all been negative.  Since D is no longer in school we ran into a scheduling issue that forced us to look for a nanny.  (I am using the terms babysitter/sitter/nanny sporadically because I honestly don’t know the difference at this point.)  We registered on care.com and got a couple of hits, but of course the sitters we felt were qualified were not available during the hours we needed or were looking for something full-time.  We got a promising hit just in time, we met her, introduced her to the kids and she has been with us for a couple of weeks now.  I don’t really have any complaints, which is rare for me.

A couple of days ago she told me she was seeking treatment in an out-of-state center for mental illness and would not be able to care for our children past a certain date.  I was immediately conflicted.  I was glad she was trying to take care of herself and find help.  On the other hand, I wanted to ask how come she didn’t disclose this information when we first met her.  It took me a minute to get my bearings and tell her we wish her the best, after all she had been great with my kids up until this point.

I couldn’t stop myself from thinking of the nanny who harmed the two children in her care in New York.  Were there no warning signs?  Should I rethink letting her to continue to care for our children in the meantime?  We don’t have any other options as far as childcare.

We have an incredibly hard time finding sitters we feel comfortable caring for our children and if I’m being honest I feel maybe she should have been more upfront about this in her interview/profile/application.  In a way I almost feel like it’s none of my business but doesn’t it become my business when she comes into our home to care for our children?

5 Comments on “Our Nanny

  1. I think I’m with you – go with your gut! As someone who suffers from mental illness, it’s phenomenal that she’s taking care of herself. However, if you are suffering from depression, anxiety, etc. it would have been good for her to have disclosed that information to your family. There’s no telling what someone mental illness consist of and I wouldn’t trust anyone suffering from it. Your children and the safety of them come first. Yes, she’s a great person, nanny, babysitter, etc. etc. But that should be disclosed. Does an employer have a right to know if he’s hiring a drug addict? I think so. Maybe the two do not compare but as the person doing the hiring, you have the right to know if the person your allowing into your home, company, etc. has some kind of mental imbalance.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I think it depends on what her illness is. I had what the doctors termed a psychotic break, I term a break with reality, and I was not considered a danger to my kids or anyone else. I was treated at home and the gp
    With the stigma still surrounding mental illness many people won’t disclose and have often experienced prejudice when they do.
    However as a mum you have to do what you think is best for your family

    Liked by 1 person

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